And in these costumes pretending, we find ourselves.

Finally another shoot. And this one was worth the wait. A while back I took a photograph of Britt dressed as a circus performer smoking a cigarette in front of some elephants and since then I've been slowly putting together ideas for more odd circus photos. So here's the next one of the series. 

There's something about the circus that I just love... The strangeness and impossibility of things is captivating. It's a place where misfits are welcome and peculiar things are the norm. It sounds like home to me. I can't imagine my life without a bit of smoke and mirrors. What would I do? Get up each morning, robotically shower and get dressed, go to work for a company that only cares about reality. Come home, have some dinner, maybe watch some tv or go for a walk. And then sleep again. Instead I let myself sleep in when I can and wake up from strange dreams that lead to strange inspirations. I have several part time jobs that I love and that pay the bills, but I'm forever grateful for the flexibility that they offer so that I can spend my time with my imagination, and make moments of reality out of it.

In a sense, I guess my life is like a circus. I live and breath the make-believe. It's who I am. But sometimes I'm just a person looking silly in a costume.. Drinking tea and reading books.

Yesterday I was talking to someone about my photography and she asked if I get many people wanting creative photos from me. And the truth is that I don't. People see my creative work and love it, which I'm happy for. But then they ask me to shoot some family portraits or if I will do weddings. Don't get my wrong. I'm happy to be behind the camera for just about any reason. But sometimes I wonder why people fall in love with my work and then shy away from it. Maybe they don't know how to imagine like I do.

Hopefully coming soon is a video of this photo shoot, thanks to my dear friend Mike. Although I'm honestly a little nervous that his film will be better than my photos. He's that good.

Sometimes there are a million reasons for us to be miserable and feel badly about ourselves. And sometimes we choose to find ways to feel good anyway.

My Roots

Today I went into my old high school to talk to the media arts class about photography. I've done this quite a few times over the past couple years and I always love doing it. I'm discovering a new-found love for teaching photography. 

It always gets me thinking about where I started out. My first "studio" setup was in my bedroom. I had a track light fixture and a big canvas backdrop across one wall. And that was about it. Eventually my Mom and Dad (being the incredible people that they are) helped me figure out a concept for a better studio and slowly it was built. We took the body of a transport truck, insulated it, put in some windows and a door, I bought some cheap studio lights and backdrops, and I was in business.

It's really tiny and definitely challenging to work in but I've done some pretty great stuff in this studio that I call "The Circus"

These are some of my earliest shots taken in The Circus, which I still love. Maybe it's because they were some of my first shots in my new home or maybe they are actually kind of good. Either way, they have a special place in my heart. 

We never forget our roots. Where we come from plays a big part in how hard we might have to work to get where we want to go. I'm really proud to have the home that I do. Maybe my parents couldn't give me everything and maybe I can't afford the fancy equipment. But we did a damn good job of making the best of what we had. Sometimes I forget how much support I've had over the years, and how hard I've worked to gain the skill that I have now. But I always come back to it. I'm a maker of things impossible. I always have been. 

Can't take anything too seriously.

These photos are from my latest job. I don't do a lot of maternity photos but I was super excited for these ones. I went to high school with the mom-to-be and when she contacted me she said she wanted some traditional photos but also something with a bit of an edge. I love the look of maternity photos that showcase the couple's personality so when she said they both had some pretty awesome tattoos and a pet python.. well if you know me I'm sure you can guess what my reaction was. 

So I know this is primarily a photography blog but every once in a while I like to share random things that I'm doing on the side. So here's one for ya!

I've liked singing since the Spice Girls hit it big (Girl Power!) and when I was in high school I took a vocals class and I actually did pretty well. But that was 7 years ago so most of that talent has long since faded away.

Anyway, I saw a video on youtube of the band Lulu and the Lampshades performing this and I thought it was pretty cool so I taught myself how to do it. Enjoy.

P.S. If you're a musician, please be kind for I am not one.

It's amazing, the things we'll do for art. It seems that I'm constantly coming up with harsh environments to shoot in. And apparently I either have the most amazing friends and family in the world... or the dumbest. Cold water, rain, snow, heat, wind, let's climb these rocks, swim to that island, sit on this cliff, balance on this tree branch in a giant dress, ride this crazy horse, I'm going to swim in rough waters while wearing this mermaid tail.. And sure, there are complaints. From other models, assistants AND myself. It's obviously not always an easy and fun experience. But somehow that never matters. We always just conveniently forget how miserable we once were and do it all again later. Because to us, this is important. 

People say not to dwell on the past and I think that's valid. But I think that our memories are truly precious things. Especially in the form of a photograph. Capable of bringing us back to a certain time.. a feeling.. a thought. And in the case of my whimsy photographs it isn't so much that I live in my memories, but rather that I create new realities.

If I think back to the process of shooting these images in particular I remember passing some hikers that surely thought our attire was a little strange for walking the trails. I remember Britt trying to carry those antlers so carefully so that they wouldn't fall apart before we got a chance to shoot them. I remember feeling rushed because we were running low on daylight and of course I was making Britt sit in a tree with very little clothing on. I remember trying not to fall off that tree branch and trying to hide jackets, sweaters, scarves, and boots in the hollow of the tree trunk with one foot.

But when I look at the photographs all I see are stories. Incredible, magical, amazing stories. All of reality disappears and I'm left with "make believe." That's where my photos take me. 

When the veil between the living and the dead is thin...

Every year I find that Halloween simply isn't what it used to be. As a kid it was so much easier to feel that excitement. The mystery in the winds. It was the one night of the year that we all embraced strange noises and dark shadows. We wanted to feel a little scared. It was like the fear meant we were doing something right. We were on the right path. And just a little further into the creaking trees and rustling leaves we would find... something. 

What I really think it is is that as children we are much more in tune with the things that people generally grow up and forget to believe in. As children we believe in ghosts, witches, fairies (or "faeries" if you prefer, like I do). As children it's viewed as having an imagination and is therefore healthy. But I don't think it's just kids being kids. I think those things are real and when we are young we are so much more open to an experience that may involve the super natural. 

As an adult I find that I have to seek that feeling out. I think magic gravitates towards children because they believe in it without reservation. As we get older we have to make a choice; Do we believe in magic? And if we do, is it just because we want to believe it or just because it's really what we think to be true, just like the sun rising or the moon waxing and waning. 

As Halloween draws near each year I can feel the difference in the air and the wind. I can feel a presence in a lot of different places. It's said that the veil between our world and that of the deceased becomes weaker on Halloween and spirits can return to earth. I make sure I acknowledge this every year. If my past loved ones are around today I want them to know that I'm with them. 

It's a tradition in a lot of cultures to offer food to spirits on Halloween. That's where trick-or-treating came from. Some cultures viewed it as a peace offering to keep ghosts from haunting the household. I just see it as a sign of love and respect. Food has a lot of meaning and offering it to a spirit is the ultimate in respect and acceptance. So I go to the graveyard every year to bring one of my past loved ones a treat. Usually apples or caramels. Some of his favourites.

At this age, it's so easy for Halloween to just become a big party. An excuse to drink a lot, show too much skin, and of course eat lots of candy. But I like to go back to the fun I had as a child. Bobbing for apples, telling scary stories, and ultimately just getting entirely wrapped up in the eeriness that is Halloween. But above all else, I make sure that I appreciate those who have passed on. This day is for them after all. Life and death, night and day, summer and winter. And of course, the candy part is still important. Always has been, always will be.